Following the examples of the Apostles – How life changes
The Church celebrates the feast day of St. Peter and St. Paul on June 29th. These two saints were considered to be pillars of the foundation of the Church. They both dedicated themselves to proclaiming the Gospel as Christ’s disciples and witnessed their faith through martyrdom.
Interestingly, they have lived a very different life from the beginning to the end. Peter was a poor fisherman, an uneducated simple man who was described as enthusiastic but impulsive. Paul was raised to be a Pharisee, a Roman citizen at that time, an intellectual man with high education. Peter set an example of faith with humility and simplicity, Paul shed light on faith with wisdom and clarity. Peter was the apostle to the Jewish Nation; Paul was to the Gentiles.
On top of that, there is another significant difference between Peter and Paul. Peter, who had encountered Jesus from the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, took a long time for his conversion. His relationship with Jesus had grown over mistakes and misunderstandings. On the other hand, Paul encountered the Risen Lord, and since then he had become a totally different person, from a persecutor of Christians to a Christ bearer until death. 2
This reminds me of a famous debate between teachings of Chinul and Seongchol in Korean Zen Buddhism. Chinul, a 12th century monk, claimed that the sudden awakening was followed by gradual cultivation. In other words, even with awakening,
one needs to put efforts to continue the exercise of the mind. He stressed that a mere awareness of wisdom could not lead one to the realization of Buddhistic nature without practice of compassion.
Regarding this teaching, Seongchol, a 20th century Zen Buddhist, argued that if a kind of awakening required gradual cultivation, it was just an intellectual knowledge but not true awakening. According to Seongchol, true awakening entails a radical change, i.e., complete enlightenment.
Probably, you may have a moment of “I’ve never been the same” in faith. Or you may have an experience of seeing yourself and the world in a new light, but still struggle with the same weakness. I am not contending here which one should be the true conversion. As much as the Church holds these two saints together as great examples of our faith, I think one path is not against the other.
Rather, God’s calling for each one of us is unique. Our encounter with Christ may plant a seed in our life to grow over time, or turn everything upside down all at once. Or our journey may be combination of changes and resistance. What is important is not how but why. God at times leads us on a totally different path because He loves us. God at times helps us to prepare for a new path because He loves us. As long as we have faith, hope, and love in God, we know that we all have the same destination at the end of our journey.
Fr. James